Popularity's preconceived perceptions

Hannah Rader
Jul 9, 2019
3 min read

It's nice to be liked, but it's toxic to need that. Let's dive into the topic!

First off, let me state something Biblical -- We were ALL (whether you're a believer or not), created for community. This is engrained into who we are and how we function as the human race. There will always be that little (or sometimes big) desire in our hearts to belong somewhere; to a group of people. Extroverted, introverted, or socially secluded. It's NOT AT ALL bad to want to be surrounded by community. But sometimes in those desires and maybe impatience, we settle.

Do. not. settle.

Life is hard enough trying to navigate on your own. However, if you're around people who are only bringing you down, that's going to make it ten times more difficult. Don't get me wrong... God loves everyone the same, wants the best for all His children, and would LOVE if everyone was unified. (Shameless plug, come back next week on my post about forgiveness! It'll be a doozy!!!) We have to get to a place of civility (and love) with one another, but that doesn't mean we have to immerse ourselves in their ways of thinking, because sometimes it's toxic for us.

Take this metaphor for example: Some people are like bonfires. Oftentimes, it's nice to be around a bonfire. It's warm, brings light, and is fun to watch. However, getting too close to the fire can be dangerous. It can leave you with burns or even scars. It's okay to keep your distance from bonfire people for your own heart's safety.

BUT STILL KNOW that God loves them, and that's His commandment to you. Love them! (And forgiveness may play a role in that! MORE ON THAT NEXT WEEK.)

I just joined this fellowship group this past month, and it is the best example of community I have ever experienced. They WANT to go through life with you, good and bad. They will grieve with you and celebrate with you. Galatians 6:2 says "Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ."

Before Christ's time, David even proclaimed "How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!" Psalm 133:1.

I must say, though, that while comm(unity) is great, it can get tricky. In the body of Christ we are meant to stick together. But if something isn't working out and you want it to (but the other party doesn't), you can't force it. It will leave you empty to strive for people to like you all the time. All you can do is worry about yourself, your heart, and God's will for the body (HIS body).

TAKE ME, FOR EXAMPLE. I spent seventeen years STRIVING. I was always feeling disappointed, left out, rejected, and out of place. Then when those chains broke, I spent another three years low-key worrying about what people thought. Not to the point where it consumed me, but the tiny worries were totally unnecessary. I was living a loving life. Jesus was doing what He wanted in how I was living and that would have drawn in the people He had for me. In the past few months, though... I am a completely different person! After taking time for myself for the first time in, well, ever!!! I have discovered WHO I TRULY AM in Christ. I'm not striving to have all the friends in the world so that maybe I can tag my identity along with theirs.

NO MORE WORRIES; no more concerns about who does and doesn't agree with me. Sure, I want people to like me. But it's not a NEED anymore. My mom has even said she sees more joy in my eyes.

Popularity is something that movies portray as good. It's something that people talk about in school. But popularity isn't always the easiest route. Sometimes you just have to surround yourself with five people who would fight for you in everything you're going through, and that's the type of community that God wants you to be in. It's healthy.

UNITY in the church is crucial, but popularity isn't necessary.

Find your little squad.

Focus your energy there.

Do not take them for granted.

Lift them up as they lift you up.

Root for yourself like God roots for you and you'll find other people who do the same!!

And lastly, don't worry about numbers. It's not about how many people you have in your circle per se. It's about how many people you have that exhibit FORTIFYING FELLOWSHIP.