FORGIVE LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW

People have called me CRAZY for how much I forgive. (But I don't forget. More on this at the bottom.*)

Today let's talk about forgiveness, because it's a sore subject for some even though it can bring so much freedom. I think this post will help begin to shift mindsets.

THERE IS FREEDOM in forgiveness!!!

Would you say you hold grudges? Would you classify yourself as "petty"? Would you say you let what people have done to you prevent you from interacting with them normally?

Resentment

Bitterness

Loathing

Spite

How debilitating is that? It costs so much effort and energy and stress to harbor those feelings toward people and to keep up the front of equal negativity. "Well if they did this to me they deserve the cold shoulder." No, actually. That's even more negativity piled up on you. Let's just see what the Bible says about this.

First of all, here is Jesus' example of it to us. If you think about it, we are constantly rebelling against Him. I truly can't wrap my mind around how He not only died for it, but sees the rebellion daily and continually forgives us for it. He died knowing what sin would happen in the future. It's mind-blowing!

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:15-16

Christ is our example of forgiveness and patience.

Paul in a different letter says "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:31-32

Matthew 18:21-22 says "Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

The fact that Jesus washed Judas' feet with full knowledge that he would give Jesus over to be persecuted the next day is mind-boggling. We should live with that heart of forgiveness and love.

I never ever want to abuse God's forgiveness, but I know I sometimes do. I know I'm at fault as much as the next guy. This is also part of why you have to consider the human condition while facing each other's issues. A) We aren't God and forgiveness is hard. B) Don't abuse each other's forgiveness.

This is a recurring theme throughout the Bible, the concept of forgiving those who have wronged you.

I'm sort of "infamous" for this. I seem to be a target for injustice. People have handed me the short end of the stick, or talked poorly about me behind my back, or tried to make me feel inferior, or purposely don't associate with me in front of others. It's an interesting phenomenon I haven't quite figured out myself because I don't like to stir up drama and I want everyone to be friends. I'm very Kumbaya. (The definition English speakers use now seems to be "naive, unrealistic optimism.") (I have naive, unrealistic optimism!!!! I just want PEACE WITH THE PEOPLE.)

I've been asked why I don't have hard feelings towards someone when "I should." And I've been asked many other questions just like that one. The thing is, living in unforgiveness is exhausting and stupid. Plus why would you give someone the satisfaction of consuming your thoughts every day?

HOWEVER

*I don't usually forget, and here's why.

I've blogged many times about finding uplifting community. I am an advocate for healthy fellowship and finding your tribe and even how to cope with things (which sometimes involves the people in your little circle). These things are all healthy necessities in our lives.

And nobody is perfect. AT all. (Not trying to hold anyone to that impossible standard!!)

However, I know that if one person in particular has a track record for undercutting me or a friend, I'm going to be more careful with them. And that's okay to do. Boundaries are so important. The important thing is, though, that you forgive. Now forgiving doesn't excuse the behavior by any means. It's acknowledging that every human being (including yourself) is imperfect and messed up. They don't even need to apologize for you to forgive them, and they may not even be sorry in the first place! However, forgiving them is the healthy part for you. It won't give them some weird satisfaction and the green light to keep wronging you. It's for the own weight on your shoulders. BUT this is also part of why not forgetting is part of my strategy. If they for some reason do see it as a green light, there will be more distance put between us by me, but with no hard feelings. I will not treat them as less-than. I will continue to love them as Jesus does. Just remember to put boundaries on your heart so that if any patterns creep up, you don't have to endure any more pain.

Not everyone is out to get you, though. Sometimes there are serious miscommunications and sometimes people don't think before they do something. Human beings accidentally hurt each other's feelings all the time. I personally find it way easier to forgive accidents than intentional targeting, though. (Anyone relate?)

I highly encourage whoever is reading this to think of two people who you either have a grudge against or who has wronged you recently. (Either on purpose or by accident!) I want you to mull it over (do NOT overthink it, because that could get you more angry if there is anger in there), and pray about it. I want you to try to get to a place where you can say "I forgive ______" without it being fake or a lie -- truly mean it. It's good to practice this because people will disappoint you your entire life.

It is a witness tool.

It is good for your emotional health.

And life is so much more fun

when you don't hold a grudge.

Forgive like there's no tomorrow. Find freedom in forgiveness.

2 Corinthians 13:11 "...Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace...."